May Brings Flowers and Mental Health Awareness!

*Trigger Warning for those struggling with their mental health*

Today starts Mental Health Awareness Month as well as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month. I’ve struggled with both since the time I was barely a teenager and still struggle today although not nearly as bad.

This May is very important to me as the 13th marks the 10 year anniversary of my last suicide attempt.

My teenage years were spent in great pain, self harm, suicide thoughts and actions, and not taking my medications. May of 2009 was the attempt where I truly wanted to die, I felt like a burden, and that I was better off dead. I’m so thankful I changed my mind and called for help. It didn’t get better right away but I really worked with my treatment team to gain skills to cope, and I learned I had to take my medication. I got a job that really helped (and I’m still there!!)

Do I still struggle? Oh you bet I do. I still have my bad days. I even had quite a scare earlier this year when I was trying to change medications. But it no longer feels like a life sentence.

To those who struggle or know someone who struggles… be patient, be kind, be open. There is no shame in having a mental health condition. The darkness doesn’t last forever (although it may seem like it!)

Sometimes I feel like I was robbed of so many things, but I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be… using my personal struggles to help guide others through the darkness.

And if you made it this far I want to thank everyone (past or present) that has played a part in my journey!

It’s great to be alive!!!!

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