Sunday Funday – County Park Style

My husband and I decided to spend this hot summer Sunday at the county park!
It was a great day of self care!!!
I even spotted a butterfly!
It’s so nice to just sit back and enjoy life!
Hope you enjoy the pictures from our day!

Got Meds? Medication Change Update

I saw my psych med person earlier this week. I told her how I feel I’ve been overly medicated and was finally honest about how much I was really sleeping because of my medication cocktail. I also told her how amazing it is to feel slightly human again. It’s hard to explain the foggy/groggy feeling unless you’ve been there. She gave the go ahead to decrease my seroquel dosage again in a couple weeks. I also was given the OK to wean off the prazosin and use on an as needed basis only.
I felt so heard and validated!
I saw my therapist this week too and she thinks I’m doing wonderful. She’s proud of how brave and strong I am and for how I’m forging my own path in life in a very healthy way!
Here’s to my continued journey of Becoming Katie Butterfly!!

Butterfly Notes

This week in my support group we were asked to pick butterflies that we felt described us. I picked the word Fearless because that describes me well.
I also picked the words Deserving, Good and Worthy.
I am slowly realizing my worth. I’m working on taking “bad” out of my vocabulary. And I am starting to see myself as worthy.
It’s very important to talk kindly to ourselves because we are listening.
I hope you will take a few minutes to think of some kind words to describe yourself!

Being Fearless Means Busting Down Those Walls Of Fear

“Being fearless means busting down those walls of fear and being who you are, not who someone else thinks you are. People like to put others in a box and tell them what they can and cannot do or who they can and cannot be. No one can tell you who you are and what you are made of, only you yourself know what you are made of, and only you yourself can do the work to become who you want to be.”
-Mariska Hargitay
These words ring so true for me. Don’t lose yourself to someone else’s dream.
While trying to make someone else’s dream come true, I almost lost myself completely. My hopes, my dreams, my direction in life. And it completely zapped all my energy.
The last few years my focus has been on my life. And I can honestly say I’m living for me now. MY hopes. MY dreams. And I’ve never been happier.
Don’t lose yourself becoming someone you aren’t!
Be fearless and be who YOU are!

Medication Change Update

Hey guys! Thought I’d give a little update on my medication situation.
I’ve been on a slightly lower dosage of the seroquel and wow – what a difference! The drowsy, hung over feeling is pretty much gone, however that means I don’t sleep as well at night because the drug doesn’t complete knock me out.
I’ve also rediscovered tears! No for real. Being on all the medications I’ve been on have been wonderful but they also take away pretty much all emotions like crying. So, it’s been interesting to feel human again.
I think I’m could be over medicated for where I’m at in my life and I’ve got to say this is a good problem to have.
I’m just taking this one day at a time and trusting my doctor in this process!

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

I’ve gained a lot of weight (medication, slowing metabolism, bad habits) and I’ve struggled with accepting it. It’s so easy to let my disordered thoughts take over.
I’ve slowly been getting used to it and being OK with it. Now I’m starting to embrace it! To even love myself.
I realize that it’s not the number on the scale or the clothes size that determines my self worth. It is being able to love all of my perfectly-flawed-ness.
I have hated myself since I can remember. I hated the girl inside and I hated her on the outside. That mindset stuck with me for many years. I didn’t feel worth loving.
I’ll admit it isn’t always easy. But, I’m started to realize my self worth and love me for me. That means all the imperfections as well as all my positive traits.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am beautiful just by being me.

Video Update: Medication Changes

Check out my new Vlog post!