*Trigger Warning*

Life was hard growing up. The first people you learn to trust are your family but when they betray you in a horrible way nothing feels like it can ever be ok. This is my life. I was born in the 80s when technology first started happening. Kids at school were excited about computers and games but I knew everything about them. My dad being kinda wealthy we never wanted for anything. I had a computer before any of my classmates I had video games everything I ever would ask for I would get. I didn’t do well in school and the teachers put me in the slow class thinking I had developmental problems. They never realized my real problem. My older brother started molesting me at a young age we were 3 years apart. We did everything together even sat together on the bus to school. Him and his friends liked to experiment on me sexually. I was afraid to tell anyone because I thought it was my fault. I remember taking a bath and him convincing me to come in his room naked my dad caught me in there and I got a spanking because of it. It drilled into my head that it was my fault for being a girl. The abuse went on for 11 years. It only stopped when he went into the Navy. I never told my parents what happened I thought maybe they knew or maybe they would see the scars on my wrists from cutting. They were too into the computer world to pay attention to what was going on in their own home. I’ve been through years of therapy and on different medications to help with the manic episodes and flashbacks but nothing seems to work. I am 31 now with a full time job still living with my parents. They know now what happened and worry about me constantly. They want what’s best for me. I have a huge fear of guys so I am more drawn to girls for a companion. My parents don’t seem to mind as long as I am happy. I recently quit therapy and my medication like almost a month ago and I have been doing really good. I haven’t missed work or self injured. I am trying to keep positive in this world full of negativity but yea that’s my story the short version. If I were to write in detail I would probably trigger myself so that’s it.