I’ve struggled with my relationship with food for years… abusing it in one way or another, never finding the balance.

Restricting calories gave me a sense of control. Then it became about comfort in the form of self-care.

I’ve also been in a terrible cycle of night binge-ing because of medication side effects and then sleeping my day away because of the heavy sedation.

Being put on adderall has been a God-send. The best way I can describe it… it makes me feel human. However, it still wasn’t helping with the night binge-ing because I was not getting the nutrients I needed during the day and eating only processed refined carbs.

I decided to start cutting out the processed refined junk, and replace it with the nutrients my body has been starved of. So far, the only Seroquel-induced binges I’ve had are when I’ve had to work the evening shifts at work, as it throws off my normal schedule. I’m not going to sweat it though, cheat days are OK.

I wanted to tell my therapist what I’m doing because I don’t totally trust myself when it comes to food and diets… and she couldn’t be more proud. In the past I only counted calories and the least I had the better and what I’m doing now is healthy and for good reasons.

I’ve abused my body for too long and now I’m giving it the love it deserves. Self–care isn’t just about bubble baths, shopping and comfort food. Sometimes it’s doing things we hate because we know it’s good for us.

I’m still becoming Katie Butterfly!!