We meet again. I do everything I can to keep you out of my life. I take a medication cocktail, I go to therapy, I write, I use all my skills I’ve learned over the years. But, no matter what I do… you always come back.
It’s an ugly cycle. I thrive and do really well without you and then without warning (or maybe I missed them?) you rudely come back. I feel like a failure because I work so hard and my brain still seems to fail me.
I know reality. I know how loved I am. I know my place in this world. And then you come in with your ugly lies. it becomes a war in my head. I know I’m going to win. I’ve fought to hard to give in. But, it’s exhausting. Simply exhausting.
You try to make it our little secret. You try to convince me to go back with you. But. I know the truth. I know how dark and hopeless life is with you. Also, you lie and lie and lie.
I’ve learned a few tricks over the years. I know that you thrive in darkness and isolation. I’ve gotten smarter though. When you contact me. I speak up. I tell someone. And I keep talking until I get through it. I remind myself of my worth and I keep on keeping on.
Please stop harassing me. You can’t stay!
Sincerely – an exhausted warrior