I posted this blog post last week and then unpublished it. I felt a wave of panic, like it was too soon to be bearing my soul.
Today, I realized I’ve been bearing my soul and sharing some of my worst experiences with my followers for awhile now.
My readers have read about the worst thing that happened to me and how it’s affected me.
And then it hit me. If I could share all the bad things with you, why shouldn’t I share my triumphs with you, too.
So, here I am with a new-found strength, re-publishing this!
My voice has power!
Some time back as I was going through the transition of cutting back on my seroquel, I started to feel emotions, to feel alive again. It brought on emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time…
I had requested my old psych hospital records from like 10 years ago trying to fill the blanks in my mind.
I remembered more stuff that went on. I was more equipped to deal with all those emotions from my teen years. This was great, right?!
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks!! People were getting justice for the abuse happening to them and I had just… given up? Too much time has past. I wasn’t brave enough.
Screw That. I want justice too!!!!!
My advocate listened to my frustrations and my fears and said “If you want to report, I’ll go with you..”
*A couple weeks went by*
I found out my advocate could set up a meeting with a trained detective. The date was set for July 27th, 10 AM.
The days leading up to it were literal hell. Multiple emotions on replay 24/7. But when the day came I walked into the door and named my rapist for the monster he is.
9 years it took! The first 4 I blocked out so that I could survive and make a life for myself. 5 years after I remembered, I finally got the courage to walk into the police department to name him for the monster he is..
And no matter what happens… whether the statute of limitations is up or if the investigation goes no where… I know that I did what I could and he can never take this victory away from me.
July 27th happened and he can never take that away from me!