Open Letter To The Best Friend I Lost

Scroll down to content
Dear Best Friend I Chased Away:
I’ve made many mistakes in my life. Mostly due to my BPD and traumatic past.  I’ve been a horrible friend, said and did so many things I wish I could take back. To those I have hurt and lost along the way, this letter is for you.
I wish I could take back the angry words I said to you over and over again because I was hurting. I wish I could take back how I betrayed you when you needed me most. You will never know how much I beat myself up over it. You deserved a much better friend than you got in me. I just wish you were able to see the person I am today. How I’m really not the same person. How I’ve grown into a kind woman who advocates for others. I wish you could see that.
I know, it really seemed like (and still probably does to some people) that I was just an attention seeker. And, I know, on some level I really was. I was searching for love and affection that I never got anywhere else. And it will always be a life-long battle. I was angry at the world and I took it out on those closest to me
I wish you could see the person I am today. How I am an advocate for abuse survivors and mental health fighters.
If you could see who I am almost 10 years later, I think you would be surprised. I know I’ve surprised myself. I never thought I would live to see 20 and here I am at 30 years old, thriving. Yet, I think back on all the things I could have done differently. But, I have to remember to be kind to myself as I am not the same person you knew.
Losing you has opened up my eyes to being more accepting and forgiving of others. I know the pain of messing up and losing the ones you love most. And I never want someone else to feel the way I do.
Only I know who you are, and, I’ll never stop thinking of you, wishing you well and loving you.
I forgive myself for hurting you and I forgive you for not giving me another shot.
Forgive and forget? I doubt that will happen. But, The forgive and understand part, you bet!
Cheering you on from afar,
KatieBug (now Butterfly)

img_4243

One Reply to “Open Letter To The Best Friend I Lost”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

THE_PURPLE_HEARTS_ROOM

MY JOURNEY FROM BEING HIS OBJECT TO INDEPENDENT WOMANHOOD

Laurens Place Of Honesty!

A Step Inside My Mind.

The Intuitive Introvert

A quiet person with a loud mind

Survivor

I am a survivor of sex trafficking, mental, physical and financial abuse.

Yourkindabeautiful

YourKindaBeautiful...

Oliver’s Mum

Just a girl (baring her soul) and her dog.

Only Michy

Adulting One Day At A Time

Be the voice they don't have.

My Life, My Children vs. The World

Natalie's Little Corner of the World

Discussing mental health and millennial issues one post at a time.

Confessions of a Bipoar Diva

Living with bipolar disorder and recovering from addiction

Debatably Dateable

But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for

imayormaynotkillmyself

Always do what's next

like as the waves

a mental health blog

victimfocus.wordpress.com/

Exploring best practice and research in sexual violence. A loud voice in the fight against victim blaming. Written and Managed by Jessica Eaton, Doctoral Researcher in Forensic Psychology

Count it all joy

Spiritual Hope . Joyful Faith . Trust in God

PsiHub

A Hub where we discuss Psychiatry and everything mental health related!

%d bloggers like this: