I realized today as I was angrily walking on the treadmill and throwing out all the literal trash in my life that it’s OK not to be OK. I realized that I’ve been trying so hard to prove to myself and others that I’m OK when the truth is I’m so far from it. And when I stop back and look at the past several months I have every reason not to be OK…
I made a police report.
I was told I waited too long and that my rapist got away with what he’d done to me.
My advocate left.
I was falsely accused of stealing.
I went on several medication changes that finally triggered a relapse.
The list goes on and on and on. And the truth is, I’m not OK. I’m really angry. And that’s OK. It’s time I stop trying so hard to be OK and let myself feel the emotions and let them work themselves out in THEIR time, not mine.
So, today I bear my soul and admit to you (and myself) that I’m not OK and that is OK.
❤ Katie Butterfly