I will not be defeated. Not by the emotions trying to run my life or the fact I still need medication.

Again, it is no secret that I have been struggling the past couple months. The police report, being told I waited too long and the news of my advocate leaving has taken a toll on my mental health.
Winter is right around the corner and so is my seasonal depression. I didn’t want to go back up on the seroquel dose and admit defeat. Who wants to do that? Admit defeat. Then I thought it would only be defeat if I allowed it to be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing medication. What I’m afraid of isn’t more medication. No, I am afraid of becoming too numb again. I need these emotions I’m feeling but I also need a balance.
I saw my psych NP today and we decided to switch from the Seroquel to the Seroquel XR. I start this weekend. The XR is supposed to be less sedating and have less side effects.
So, here I go again facing changes and refusing to be defeated!

2 Replies to “I Will Not Be Defeated”

  1. We are survivors. We don’t use that word defeat. That is not us we just have to get stronger. And face what is being dealt to us. It’s hard but we can do it.

    Liked by 1 person

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