I apologize for my lack of posts. I’ve been dealing with some depression and loneliness. Winter has come and my best friend has gone.

Christmas isn’t even here yet and I’ve already been so blessed. This year I’ve been having trouble getting into the Christmas mood. I’ve been lonely and just the winter-can’t-go-anywhere-blues.

I was able to get a picture with Mr. and Mrs. Claus. I was also able to go see the lights with my friend and her daughter!

I was also able to watch my honorary niece’s dance recital and spend time with my nephew!

I’ve been having a lot of fun on my American Girl doll groups. Dressing up my dolls for photo challenges. As well as new dolls (some that were prizes) and a very special one sitting under my tree.. the story is this… when I was in probably 2nd grade my teacher was reading the Addy books to us. I got hooked. Addy was always my favorite. I wanted her for years and asked for her for years.. I was always disappointed that some miracle didn’t happen that put her in my hands. When I got older I started collecting the dolls and have had Addy for awhile… however I found a brand new in box Addy from the years I would have wanted her on eBay for a good deal. She is sitting under my tree! I feel like that dream has finally come true!

I also signed up for a Secret Santa that my friend organized for those struggling with mental health issues. Yesterday I received mine. This stranger went to great lengths to send me a box full of wonderful self care items!! I hope the person who received mine felt that same joy and gratitude!

I also received my gift through the Family Center’s anonymous gift donors! And the cats have been enjoying their part of the gift!

I’ve also been able to experience giving back and it reminds me of what Christmas is all about. Yes, it’s a lot of fun to open gifts. But, so often after Christmas is over those gifts get forgotten about. The things that stick in my mind are the people that were around and the true selfless acts.

Honestly my favorite memories of Christmas were all the ones spent as a kid. We usually ended up with a lot of junk food treats to unwrap, and some big gift to share between the four of us. It was always fun taking our pictures next to the tree with all our loot. My favorite memory of those times was the year before my cousin Keith passed away. Grandma, Marge and our cousins Scott and Keith were all at our house. I don’t remember a ton as I was pretty young yet but as I’m older now I can see how important it was because shortly after that my cousin passed away. It wasn’t the gifts (oh I loved the presents!) but it was the gift of family, fellowship and food that meant the most to me.

I’m looking forward to the gift of family, fellowship and food this holiday season!

I’m excited to get my self care packages sent out after the holidays when I have more time to actually enjoy shopping (and less people, because anxiety!)

And I leave this question with you: what does Christmas mean to you?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

💜KatieButterfly