I’m going to be honest with you. My eating disordered thoughts have reared their ugly heads in my life lately.

I’ve been eating junk all winter, my thyroid has been wacky. I’ve gained some unwanted weight and my moods have been all over the place.

I’ve felt so disgusted with myself. Trying to eat healthier or restrict calories, just to end up binging.

And looking at myself in the mirror, just ugh.

This weekend I took some pictures with my hubby and my first thought when reviewing them was “look how fat I am!” But then I looked at my face, and my husband’s face and I saw happiness and love.

I was then reminded that it’s not all about how much weight I’ve gained or how fat I think I am. It’s all about my relationships and friendships and the things I do that make me feel good.

And I remembered I could starve myself for months and I still wouldn’t feel that goodness that felt just by being loved for who I am on the inside.

Do I still want to eat healthier and lose some weight? Definitely. But it’s also put some of those bad thoughts at bay.

One day at a time!

KatieButterfly