So much has happened since my last blog post and I thought it was finally time to write it!
A couple days after I posted “Just Keep Walking… I was getting ready to go to my sister’s to have a play date with my toddler nephew and see his new baby sister too! So much joy was crushed by the news of my grandpa passing away.
We went to Michigan for the funeral. It was a beautiful service. There is still so much to say but I still am having a hard time with the words.
And then a week after we got back I found out that my cousin on my mom’s side had passed away. So, I took off west this time. If losing my grandpa and cousin wasn’t hard enough. We learned that my aunt had severe dementia and the added grief just pushed her over the edge.
Again, there’s so much more to say but where are the words? For someone who is known for her writing, I just don’t have them.
Between graduating from ODC services earlier this year, losing my case manager and now these losses… I just feel abandoned. I just feel so alone.
I know the pain won’t last forever and better days will come but for today… it’s hard.
My grandpa was a wonderful man and I hope some day I can carry on his legacy but in the mean time I will continue on the being the best auntie I can be to my nephew and niece! Even if that means dancing to C’s “wolf wolf” singing “Head, shoulders, knees and toes” over and over and over and over again! Even if that means holding S until my arms feel like they will fall off.
And then I remember. I’m not abandoned or alone. I have my place in the “family choir”
I may not have all the words to tell the story… but just as the cousin choir sang for the service….
THIS IS MY STORY, THIS IS MY SONG. PRAISING MY SAVIOR ALL THE DAY LONG!
I won’t just keep on walking. I’ll keep on singing too!